Faced With A Challenging Client? Simple Tips On Handling Tough Situations

Here’s an amazing article for you by my coach, the inspirational Kendall Summerhawk! Enjoy!

“As women entrepreneurs, when faced with a challenging client it’s easy to take the blame personally, or to find fault with yourself.

My advice?

Don’t. And here’s why: Challenging clients give you the perfect opportunity to both grow as a coach, and, to help you create fresh boundaries that serve the growth of your business.

One of the coaching principles I teach is that every situation is an opportunity for a breakthrough.

And while you can’t control the emotional challenges some clients will bring into your relationship, youare at choice in how you respond and in the questions you ask.

Having coached thousands of entrepreneurs, I honestly say that what the most challenging clients taught me is priceless in terms of strengthening my abilities as a coach…and in helping me step up as a leader.

Which is why I’m happy to share with you how you can gracefully and confidently handle challenging clients with these 3 important tips:

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Getting Out of your Head and into Grace

Do you ever find yourself going round in metaphorical circles in your mind – “should i ring that prospect back again? What if he feels like I’m being too pushy? but what if he’s interested but has lost my number? Or maybe he thought I liked him and was coming on to him. No, aargh! Oh but what if I gave him the wrong impression? Oh goodness that would be awful! I should ring him to clear it up… but what if he didn’t think that then I say something and it gets awkward….”

Etcetera etcetera!

You know the kind of thing – we do it in our personal lives too. We torment ourselves wondering what the other person’s motives were for doing something that has offended or affected us in some way. We worry whether we’ve upset them or if there’s something bad going on in their life that is causing them to act this way …

Even just reading all that gets exhausting doesn’t it?! (believe me, writing it isn’t much better!)

But I want to draw your attention to it, because actually you have a choice. You don’t need to go down that road if you don’t want to. You can choose a different path, as I’ll explain in a moment.

Now excuse me if this sounds sexist, I don’t mean it to be, but it is usually true that women do more of this overthinking than men. A lot of us (myself included) get so caught up and worried about other people and their opinions of us that it can really hold us back. Many men meanwhile just seem to cut through all that and get on with the action don’t they? Don’t worry ladies (and any men who can relate), I’m going to show you how to do that too!

Getting lost in that circle in your head prevents you from showing up like the person you really have the potential to be. It keeps you small and perhaps feeling powerless, and more than anything it just utterly depletes your energy! In network marketing (MLM) it often shows up as call reluctance.

What that means is that when you’re lost in your head you don’t do all the activity that you could be doing, you waste time, you worry, you hold yourself back from opportunities to advance through your company and all of that means that your business won’t be growing as you really want it to.

It’s ok. I get it :-) Just breathe. Let go of that stress, we’re moving forward now. It’s just part of the journey, it’s all good. Continue reading

Is Your Money Personality Holding You Back?

A fascinating part of the Money Breakthrough Method© is the beautiful Money Type cards. They help you to discover what your Money Personality is, and reveal which behaviors and beliefs may be holding you back – plus of course explain the behaviors and beliefs that can support you in moving forward. As with all of the MBM content, the aim is to increase not only your net-worth, but also your self-worth.

We had a fabulous workshop this weekend and I just loved sharing the five Money Type cards with the attendees!  They really strike such a chord, bringing up emotions yet also so much understanding and self-compassion. They just never cease to amaze me :-)

The Money Type cards really speak to different elements of our self-worth; the five needs of Love, Security, Recognition, Status and Value.

Depending what your Money Type is, you’ll likely have different areas that are holding you back. Security card people, for example, often keep themselves on SUCH a tight leash it’s almost painful to see! Whereas the Love card people tend to be SO hard on themselves, really expecting so much of themselves and putting everyone else first…

To find out where you hold yourself back, take some quiet time to think about areas of your life that cause you to feel a sense of contraction, a feeling of negativity or perhaps even dread. Look for the patterns that play out, especially in regard to your relationship with money. If you’re a Value card person, it’s likely to be issues around your boundaries with other people.

Remember that how you do money, is how you do everything – which is why this amazing work with money is so powerful. Healing issues around money will ripple out to the other areas of your life too. Sometimes I come across people who think that because they’re pretty well-functioning with money, they don’t need to do this work – but the truth is, we all have issues and this is a lifelong journey of personal growth.

If you understand that making fabulous money is part of our spiritual path, then you’ll see that clearing up your boundaries, beliefs, actions and emotions in relationship with money is actually about so much more than money in your bank account. It’s a window into your personal and spiritual growth – and the compound effect will help all areas of your life to flourish.

Rockstars who ain’t rocking’…

While coaching someone recently I had a flash of inspiration that I’d love to share with you; if you’ve been in network marketing for a while you’ll probably relate to this for your team, and if you’re new to it – well you might relate to it for yourself! Either way I hope it gives you a breakthrough.

Do you ever wonder why the most amazing and professional people seem to take while to really get going in network marketing?  I know everyone is uniquely talented and amazing, yet there are some who just seem to take longer to succeed than others – and it’s often not the ones you would expect.

You sponsor an absolute rockstar and you KNOW they are going to knock it out of the park, and yet … their progress stalls, things happen, life gets in the way and then gradually… despite their best intentions and yours, they fade away into the background. It’s such a waste of potential.

There are stories in every network marketing organization about the people who make it to the top in record time, who succeed despite the odds (or perhaps because of them – but more about that later). They are amazing inspiration for us mere mortals! They show us what is possible, even though it may not be probable for most people. But for every one of those, there are hundreds of people who, on the face of it, seem to have more potential to succeed – yet somehow they don’t, or it takes them a long long time. It’s been a puzzle to me for quite some time, perhaps for you too.

The trouble is of course, that faced with slower-than-anticipated success, these talented people can quickly become demotivated. Often they’re people who have established career success, they might have been high achievers since childhood – yet this network marketing thing seems to have them beat!

Faced with that, it takes some tenacity and deep self-belief (or a massive Why!) to continue. Some might decide to quit, as that little seed of doubt grows bigger and they start to believe the naysayers and the dream stealers… they go back to the safety of what they know and try to draw a curtain over the dreams that network marketing let them catch a glimpse of.

To me that seems like such a dreadful pity. This industry of network marketing (or Multi-level-marketing) offers the opportunity to build life-changing, world-changing income, and it provides a fertile ground for personal growth and building heartfelt connections. Everyone CAN succeed in this industry – but not everyone WILL. Continue reading

How did you start your day today?

I’m just wondering, because it seems to me that how I start my days have a HUGE effect on how productive they end up being.

You know those days where you jump out of bed early, do some exercise, eat a vibrantly healthy breakfast and just feel like you’re cookin’ on gas all day? You have an amazing day, get loads done, sail through any negativity you might get from other people and just get brilliant results..

overwhelm-trapThen there are the others where you press ‘snooze’ on your alarm as many times as you can get away with (and then maybe just one more…), grab a bite of something as you race out the door, probably shouting grumpily at the kids/dog/cat/significant other and you feel like you’re just pushing water uphill all day? Everything can go wrong does go wrong, and you just try to get through the day and back to bed!

Oh or even worse, you check email first thing! aargh, never do that! Guaranteed to put you in a reactive, stressed frame of mind for the day where you feel rushed off your feet but at the end of the day you have a nagging feeling you’ve forgotten something vital.

Ack.

So, I was thinking, if you could figure out your recipe for an ideal start to the day what would it be?

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Coaching your team for success

As your network marketing business grows, the key challenge changes from ‘how do I find people to join me?’ to ‘eek! they’ve joined me, now what do i do?!’
Many people get into network marketing because the independence of not having a boss is a huge appeal. So once you get into a position where you;re leading a team, you want to ensure that the way you communicate with them doesn’t become like a boss – itIf you’re at that level, then I’d like to help you by sharing some coaching tips. You see, if you’re new to leading people you might fall back onto whatever kind of management or leadership you’ve experiences in your career to date – which might be great, or in a lot of cases, actually not so brilliant. The danger with that is that using the wrong style with someone can really put them off.

s incredibly demotivating for us free spirited entrepreneurs!

Plus you want to use your time in the most effective way possible, and without doubt the way to do that is to grow a wonderful team of people who are also independent. This is where coaching comes into its own, because it is an encouraging and supportive style of communicating, yet the responsibility and action rests with the person being coached.

There is a lot of detail I could go into on this (hmm… maybe I should do a teleseminar on this?), but I really want to just give you some quick ideas that you can pick up and apply right away. So here are my 3 top tips for coaching your team members effectively:

 

Tip #1

Recognise where they’re at. When people are brand new, they need clear and specific instructions; when they’ve been in the business a long time they would be irritated by that. Graduate your approach as your team member becomes more independent.

 

Tip #2

Always focus on the positive. Ask what action they’ve done, what they’re celebrating, what’s going well and other questions that focus their attention on what IS working!

 

Tip #3

Encourage independence. When they ask you what to do, gently turn the question around to seek their own opinions on what they could do. If you just give them an answer that they could have worked out for themselves you’re encouraging their dependence on you and shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to your own time management. Oftentimes people already have ideas of what solutions they could try, but they’re not sure so they want to ask first. encourage them to express what they think they could do, what their options might be and which one they want to move forward on. (If they’re stuck and genuinely want your help, do give them your suggestions – just try to elect theirs first.)

 

If you can make these three coaching tips into habits you’ll find that your team grow in confidence and independence, your coaching calls are handled in a much more effective manner and you may even have a little extra time on your hands!

 

Revealing the Self-Belief Mystery

After being a coach for over a decade, or perhaps longer depending on how you define ‘being a coach’, I’ve come to a few conclusions that I think might be helpful to share. Sometimes we can feel like we’re the only one who experiences certain feelings or fears, and that in itself can make it all loom much more menacingly over us.

The truth is, you’re not the only one who feels that way; we share much more of our emotional landscape with one another than we realize. Just realizing that can be a huge relief for many people!

When you take a risk and allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable, perhaps to a loved one, knowing that they understand your feelings is so comforting and reassuring. It’s OK to feel whatever it is you feel; your feelings are valid. It’s OK. Feel the feeling, then let it go. Don’t dwell in it, don’t allow it to submerge you or determine your actions – but feel it. Then let it go. There is more to you than just your feelings.

One thing I’ve learnt from my own personal experience is that when you are brave and shine a light on a problem (rather than putting your fingers in your ears and singing ‘la la la’ like it’s not happening!!), it is amazing how the problem shrinks down to a manageable size. Yes, even ‘big scary, don’t want to know how bad it is’ kind of problems! Especially them!

Get yourself out of denial and you are already on the way to a solution. Yes it hurts; yes it’s tough; yes there may be tears – but I guarantee it is 100% worth it. I also guarantee that you can solve it – otherwise you wouldn’t have created that problem in your life. You can figure it out – but first you need to look at it fully, clearly and in the cold light of day. If you need support – get  a coach; that could be me, or just whoever you resonate with.

Another common misconception that many people seem to have is that they are the only ones who aren’t confident enough. Do you know what, most people lack self-belief, at least in some area of their life!? It’s actually incredibly normal.

I think practically everyone I’ve ever coached or worked with has struggled at some point with lack of confidence, or lack of self-belief. I certainly have! When they’re courageous enough to admit it, I can almost see the weight lift off their shoulders as the relief dawns that they’re not alone in that feeling; even as soon as it’s expressed it can start to lose its grip, and becomes something manageable. It’s Ok. You’re OK!

You see, when we think we’re the only ones to feel a particular way, we tend to hide it and pretend it’s not there. Firstly that can make it seem a much bigger issue than it actually is, like it describes our whole being, and secondly it can lead us to focus on the wrong solution.

Unexamined and mysterious, the tendency is to think ‘if i just fix THIS, then everything will be great’

‘THIS’ might be a flailing career, mounting debt, an unsatisfactory love life, obesity, constant low-grade illnesses or any other somewhat debilitating (but not completely insurmountable) issue. It seems like if we can just solve that issue, then life will be sweet, all will be well and we’ll live happily ever after. Well, there’s some good news and there’s some bad news.

Yes, you can live happily, maybe not constantly, but for the most part if you wish.

The bad news? Ah well. Solving that issue – losing the weight, clearing the debt, getting a new job, getting a new partner or overhauling your health – is just that. It solves that specific problem, which is all very nice, but then you’ll find there’s another, then another, then another … you get the idea. If you stay focused on the external stuff, you’ll get more of what you’re focussing on.

If however you take a little risk, a flight of fancy if you like, and engage with your inner stuff – you’ll see a different view; you’ll come from a different place and before you know it, those external issues will lose their heaviness and grip on you.

I’d love to promise you that they’ll magically disappear in a whoosh and a wisp of smoke … but unfortunately that only happens in the movies. oh well :-)

Engaging with your inner stuff is your personal development journey – reading amazing inspirational books, taking time to be in nature, meditation, choosing your thoughts and attitude consciously, expressing your creativity and connecting with others.

What I’ve found is that when you make time for these things, the external challenges fade into the background – you’ll still work on them and resolve them, of course, but they no longer define you. Your personal development journey nourishes you, it recharges your batteries and your spirit so you can face the more earthly demands on your time. You can do it, I believe in you.

 

P.S. If you’d have told me that a few years ago, I’d probably have said ‘Well that’s all well and good for you, but I’ve got major, scary problems to deal with first! Look at this debt! Look at these problems! Can’t you see how stressed I am?! I haven’t got time for that fluffy stuff, I need to focus on solutions and actions, I need to fix this right now!!!’

..If that’s you too, let me gently whisper something to you … “try it anyway :-)  

Just a few minutes a day can save you years of heartache and stress, I promise.

Sending you so much love

 

New Year New ME!

Just a quick post – I wanted to share an amazing find with you!

For years I’ve done a review and planning process at the start of the New Year, usually following the Best Year Yet process. All well and good, but just scribbling it in my notebook and then trying to figure out how to translate all of that output into some solid actions to put in my diary. yes, a paper one – usually filofax. Last year I had the Franklin Covey one, which I adored but honestly just hardly used beyond basic appointments and action plans.

I didn’t know it, but I actually wanted something more fun, more creative, more feminine and that I would actually use. Delightfully, someone put me on to Leonie Dawson. I am using her Business and Life Books and I LOVE THEM!!

They merge that whole creative, right-brain side of things with a handy logical structure of working through your dreams and goals to get to specific actions – and they’re BEAUTIFUL!

Inspirational AND practical – I love that! Here’s a link, go check them out they’re gorgeous!

http://tiny.cc/leonie-yrbook14

January Detox

So it’s that time of year again … January Detox!!

I hope you’re having a fabulous one and that your dreams for the year ahead are forming nicely into a plan :-) My husband and I are doing a detox, and so far so good. no wheat, no dairy, no red meat, no sugar, no alcohol – but loads of green juices, healthy fruit & veg, fish and so on. Today was quite a revelation – raw chocolate! who knew?! delicious. And healthy. Hallelujah!

Anyway, the thing they don’t ‘warn’ you about on these detox plans is how much more time you’ve got. Well, perhaps more accurately, how much more energy you tend to have!

I’ve got a whole series of workshops written, a training session on team coaching skills, I’ve decluttered my house, I’ve made kale chips, made raw chocolate, played with my daughter and loads more – and that’s just today. it’s crazy.

I don’t think there’s any going back now!

Enjoy your January whatever you’re up to, detox or no. Mix a bit of extra joy into each day and make it an amazing month!

Trust …


Have you ever wondered if all your efforts are going to pay off?

Maybe you’ve felt frustrated about not reaching a goal you’ve set yourself and you’re wondering if it’s EVER going to happen?

It can be SO hard to keep your belief strong when you’re getting faced with setbacks, people saying no or even people saying yes … but then disappearing! I really understand, and I’ve definitely felt that myself.

The thing is, so long as you are in activity then you are progressing. Just because you don’t see the results yet, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Every seed you sow is worthwhile, you never know when that person will see the change in you and decide to come join you; or maybe they’ll mention you to a friend and that person might become the next rockstar in your business. Or something will change in their life that makes them open to your opportunity.

I really love trees, and I find it amazing that even in winter when they look so bare and lifeless – actually growth is coming; we just can’t see it yet. Pretty soon, the sun comes out more often and the buds start to grow and before we know it the tree is blooming with fabulous growth, supporting all the animals and insects which rely on it for shelter, food or a perch to sing from!

So if you’re not seeing the results yet in your business, just keep going, keep believing and keep doing the do. It is happening beneath the surface and one day soon you’ll be able to see it, and you’ll be so glad you persevered.

Here are 3 tips to help you:

1. Absolutely definitely no matter what do your affirmations every day! Build them into your routine, do them in the shower, on your commute or just whenever suits you. As much as you can, feel the feelings that you’ll experience when the affirmation is reality.

2. Do you have a strong why? (Does your why make you cry?) If you don’t, then go create it. If you do, then reconnect with it regularly. Read it every day if you can, have it illustrated in pictures on your vision board, have it as a screensaver on your computer (the PicCollage app is amazing for this by the way). Keep it live, keep it fresh and know that you are already well on your way to making it a reality.

3. Trust. Know that you are worthy, that you are loved and that you deserve the success you dream of. If you’ve done the Money Breakthrough program, read your Money Power Statement every morning and every evening. Anytime you feel challenged, read it and ask what the person your Money Power Statement describes would do; it’s incredibly powerful!

Finally, what I’ve observed is that in network marketing too many people drop out before payday comes – when if they’d just kept going a little longer they would have received the fruits of their labours. It’s like that old saying that it’s always the darkest before the dawn. So if you’re feeling challenged, I want you to celebrate because actually, you’re about to have a breakthrough! Build your belief, build your self-esteem and keep going. You can SO do this!

Keep believing!

 

The Truth about Procrastination, Missed Deadlines and Abandoned Goals…

Yes, it’s a dirty little secret that most business owners and network marketers prefer to draw a quiet veil over; sometimes we set off all guns blazing to achieve a goal, convinced that success is just within our grasp. We’ve got a plan, we might even have spreadsheets and pretty pictures to light our way. We’re off, hurrah!!

But then … little by little, bit by bit, we get distracted, diverted and before we know it, the goal is out of sight. Maybe even out of mind.

The problem with that is of course, we miss our goal; but more importantly – we start to lose our faith in ourselves. Ouch. What started superficially as a problem of focus can become a source of self-doubt, leading to a loss of direction, second-guessing ourselves and wondering if we really can do it anyway. Sneaky little doubts take root, and left untended these can kill your progress completely.

If any of that resonates with you, please know first of all that you’re not alone. This is actually something that frequently comes up with my coaching clients. Secondly, the good news is that there are a simple couple of steps you can take to ensure that you keep on track to achieve your goals.

#Step One

First of all, rather than flogging yourself for not having enough willpower, I want you to consider your WHY-power. When your reasons for doing something (Your Why) are strong enough, you will move mountains whilst barely breaking a sweat.

The trouble for most people when it comes to getting distracted, procrastinating or other variations of losing focus is invariably due to a lack of clarity or resonance  in their Why.

I witnessed this first hand as a project management consultant; when I worked with teams who had a strong reason for doing their project that they all bought into personally, then quite literally nothing would stop them. Failure was literally just not an option. Whatever hurdle or obstacle would come up, it didn’t matter, they’d find a solution.

When we get too tied up in the How and What of achieving our goals, we can forget about the Why. Sometimes it doesn’t even occur to people to specify it – they’re committed, they’re engaged, they don’t need to spell out their Why …or so they think! Until a challenge, problem or even distraction comes along. Then the deadline slips, the goal gets forgotten and the opportunity missed.

So when you consider your own personal and business goals, ask yourself – What will this give me?

When you’ve got your answer, great. Ask the question again (or ask ‘What’s so great about that?’ or the killer question “What makes that important …).

Take yourself through a few levels of this, until your reason for that goal is so strong it brings a lump to your throat and tears start welling up. Only then can you take a break, take a deep breath and decide to really own this. Only then will you be at the level where you will make this happen, no matter what.

That my friends, is your Why-power. Read your Why every day, feel how you’ll feel when you’ve achieved it and trust that it is going to happen. It’s on it’s way to you; then get into activity and witness the amazing results!

# Step Two

The other key reason for missing goals is a lack of belief. This can be a lack of belief in yourself, in your opportunity, your products or even the industry. There’s more about belief and mindset in the Money, Mindset and Freedom Success Kit, but essentially my suggestion here is pretty simple – belief is a matter of choice. Choose to believe in yourself, your opportunity, your products, the industry. Or don’t – it’s up to you.

In the words of the amazing Louise Hay – “It’s just a thought, and a thought can be changed”

Work on your personal growth, your mindset and your belief and I promise you will be amazed with what you can achieve.

I look forward very much to hearing about your success.

 

Will this be the month you smash your goals?

September has that lovely fresh start, back to school energy to it – I love this time of year!  It’s about now that we tend to think “Eek Where did the year go??” and wonder how much we can realistically achieve before year end.

The way I see it, you can choose either to make this the final push to achieve all you wanted to – or you can give in and lower your expectations. If you’re a network marketing professional, you may be in the position where although you desire success and want to reach the next level, you don’t really need it. Perhaps you’re growing your network marketing business alongside a career, a job or another business? The need might not seem so pressing as it would to someone who is relying on this as their sole source of income.

Imagine for a moment that it were your ONLY source of income – how much more activity would you do?

Imagine someone in your family needs huge financial help, perhaps for a medical emergency. Imagine how wonderful it would feel to be able to help the people you care about when they need it most! What a blessing this industry can be at those times of need.

Imagine how dreadful it would be to know you could have helped them, if only you’d worked your business harder this last month / quarter/ year… ouch.

A few things have happened in recent weeks that have taken my ‘Why’, my reasons for achieving my goals, to a whole new level. The difference that has made and is continuing to make is simply astounding. When the reason is clear, the excuses just disappear.

So if you aren’t quite on track to achieve all you had intended for this year, I recommend looking at your ‘Why’ in more depth. When it resonates deeply, it will push you forward. If you needed to save someone you loved from a burning building, you would find a way wouldn’t you? If your reasons for reaching your goals are compelling enough they will propel you past any obstacles that might appear.

It can be easy to think we’ll get into activity tomorrow or next week, next month or whenever; we keep waiting until we’re “ready”, or until life calms down or whatever. But the truth is if you can see the possibility of success, you are ready. If you can see the possibility, put your belief in yourself and share your opportunity with passion.

Because you never quite know when you might really need it – and if you don’t do the activity now, you won’t have the luxury of choice. Don’t wait.

Set a bold goal for this month and complete this simple yet powerful sentence:

“To achieve this Bold Goal, I have the courage to …”

(I explain how to create a compelling Why in more detail in the Money, Mindset and Freedom Success Kit. You can get your copy for free by simply entering your name and email into the box at the side of this page.)